Army Girl

She got morals
she got ethics
she's gorgeous
and God blessed it
feed you breakfast
do wrong
she corrects it
she be nice ah
I respect it
give me space
and don't press it
do her best to
leave me stressless
and that's precious
so impressive
so I invest it

She's my respiration

when I'm breathless
when the road's rough
she's my exit
who I came in
who I left with
she's my right now
and my next year.

The Apocalypse is near...

The Apocalypse will soon be on our side of the border.


Available at your local Kentucky Fried Chicken October 18th. Mark your calendar kids.

Tale of the tape:

540 Calories
30 g of fat
1740 mg of sodium (Recommended DAILY intake: 1500 mg)

Absolutely disgusting.

I can't wait to try one...



And here's the blog I jacked all the info from: http://www.edge.ca/Blogs/Edgegirl/BlogEntry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10149594

I love Playstation Network.

So I lost by 7 in Madden. Dude who beat me when I threw a pick 6 to end the game messaged me a few times misspelling such words as "poosy", "fagget", and "dancen". Told him it took a big man to talk tough over the internet and this was his response...

"nah it don't been that way in the streets too, kid. 43 yrs old n have done state time 4 attempted murder n fed time in jersey so go bump ya gums 2 da next nigga cuz i ain't trying 2 hear it!!! im not oneof punkass kids u can talk slick to, so remember that."

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lack of Bloggage

So I've been pretty lazy lately on posting anything. I guess not being in school/on public transportation daily anymore gives me less shit to write about. Was gonna write about a dude with little man syndrome who followed me to work and said he was gonna kick my ass for "scaring him" as I passed by with my bike, or about the middle aged Asian dude in the bathroom at Union Station who from the time he unzipped to blow drying his hands had this death stare at me, but meh.

Maybe I'll have more to bitch about when the hockey season starts (Scratch maybe, DEFINITELY).

Here's a song...



Peace out.

How UPS fucked me...

THIS FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME TODAY:





First of all, I've been tracking the progress of where the fuck my iPod is on the UPS website. They said it'd come on the 9th (yesterday). As of last night at 11:20 it was still in Hamilton. I wake up this morning and it says it's in Concord, Ontario. It hadn't been updated to say it was going out for fucking delivery yet.

Because I worked yesterday at 4, I sat around all day at home, NOT showering because I knew exactly when I hopped into the shower exactly what is shown in the pictures above would happen.

They say on the site that they will deliver anytime from 9 am to 7 pm. I set my alarm to 9 just in case they came as early as possible. 10:15 am, and it still says it's in Concord so I quickly hop into the shower. I come out, check the site...

10/09/2010 10:25

ADULT SIGNATURE REQUIRED TO SIGN FOR THIS PACKAGE; NOT DELIVERED; A 2ND DELIVERY
ATTEMPT WILL BE MADE.

I WAS IN THE SHOWER FOR FUCKING 15 MINUTES. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!

And to top it off, I can't even go pick it up myself, I have to wait until Monday when the SAME SHIT will probably happen to me while I'm taking a piss, THEN I'll have to go pick it up.

Fuck you UPS, in the worst possible way.

More fun on the GO

So last night some friends and I hit up Puck 'N Wings downtown to see another friend we don't see too often.



Wings were awesome (I'd recommend the Mesquite) and the beer was cold. Jays won in extra innings too, so all in all, it was a pretty good night. However the HON candidate (hell, the straight up winner) of the night happened when we got on the last train home.



Now I've mentioned in the past a very entertaining pickup attempt dripping with failure earlier this year on the GO:

http://tbettz.blogspot.com/2010/03/swing-and-miss.html

...but this one takes the cake.

So we sit down and about a second before the train starts moving, this moderately attractive girl who I can safely assume sprinted to catch the train based on her being covered in sweat and breathing like she just finished a triathlon, sits down just a seat over.

Sitting directly across from her is a dude wearing a CNE employee shirt. Again, eavesdropping is something you're always told not to do but fuck it, we all do it anyway. So the conversation between them went as follows:

CNE dude: You were the Blue Jays game eh? How was that? (She was decked out in Jays gear)

Girl: *still struggling to find her breath*

CNE dude: Oh...guess I'll let you breathe...

CNE due: Would you like some water?

Girl: *shakes her head*

From this point I kinda stopped paying attention until one of my friends brought to my attention how the conversation was going.

They weren't talking and the CNE dude just got upgraded to creepy CNE dude as he was raping her with his eyes.

Now I guess I'll let out a pretty well known fact: If a guy sees an attractive girl, he checks out what she's got if you know what I mean. However, it's a subtle thing as to not come off like a fucking creep.

THIS guy was eyeballing every single pore from her ankles to her thigh where her shorts started. His stare looked similar to this:



Pretty much the only thing missing from the scene was him pulling his dick out to beat off.

Meanwhile, the girl was partially covering her face and looking away to the side where I got to see the look of sheer terror on her face.



My friend recommended we pretend to know her and get her to come over to empty seat we had but at this point she had gone to sleep so it wasn't like we could have asked.

Fast forward about 20 minutes later as she's leaving to get off at her stop (or to get away from Ted Bundy Jr.) and creepy CNE dude stops her to give her a stuffed animal.

"Here take this."
"No thanks...I...uh..."
"I thought you'd like it, it's a blue bird"
*random stuttering from trying to say no in every single way possible*
"Take it."
*girl gives us a bewildered look, takes it and Usain Bolts it down the stairs*
*Creepy CNE dude smiles and returns to his corner*

I may have suffered a permanent injury from biting down on my lip so hard so as not to laugh and possibly get shived by aforementioned creepy CNE dude.


(This is a shiv)

After he left, we talked about what might have happened if he got of on the same stop as her and concluded that she'd probably be on the news the next day or at least in a freezer somewhere.

Pretty sure she's not ever going to The EX again...


Think I'll pass...

Resistance 3

*takes talents to South Beach* (look it up)