How To Lose Pro Line - Week 12

Whoever bought this ticket last week, I hate you.

I'm buying two tickets this week.

One for the three American Thanksgiving day games (the only day I ever win), and one for the regular slate of Sunday games.

So without further ado, this is how to lose money for week 12!

Thursday

NE @ DET
Spread: NE - 7.5
My pick: Pats

NWO @ DAL
Spread: NWO - 3.5
My pick: Saints

CIN @ NYJ
Spread: NYJ - 8.5
My pick: J-E-T-S

Sunday

PIT @ BUF
Spread: PIT - 7.0
My pick: Squealers

JAK @ NYG
Spread: NYG - 7.5
My pick: Jags

GB @ ATL
Spread: GB - 1.5
My pick: Pack

KC @ SEA
Spread: KC - 1.5
My pick: I could easily see the Chiefs winning by 1 but hopefully it'll be by a FG instead...

TB @ BAL
Spread: BAL - 8.5
My pick: Ravens win but give up the spread late. Gimme the Bucs.

PHI @ CHI
Spread: PHI - 3.5
My pick: Don't like the spread but give me the birds anyway.

So by Sunday night I'll likely be out 12 bucks (yes I'm laying 10 on the Thursday games). Or I'll miraculously be up $120.

Don't bet on it.

How To Lose Pro Line - Week 11

As expected, my ticket could have gone in the trash the second I bought it. Did that prevent me from buying another one?

Nope.



(Spreads are from Thursday, I've been lazy/busy/sleeping)

ATL @ STL
Spread: ATL - 3.0
My pick: Give me the birds on the road.

TB @ SF
Spread: SF - 3.0
My pick: Troy Smith has the Niners rolling but I like what Josh Freeman has been doing this year, Bucs will cover, if not win.

IND @ NE
Spread: NE - 3.0
My pick: Every thing points to the Pats beating the injury infirmary known as the Indianapolis Colts. Which is exactly why I'm taking the Colts. You love the logic.

NYG @ PHI
Spread: PHI - 3.5
My pick: Thought the spread would be much larger since the Eagles tore the Redskins a new asshole, but I guess the line makers didn't prematurely blow their load like the entire sports media. I think the Eagles win but the Giants will score a meaningless last minute touchdown to make it close. Giants cover.

DEN @ SD
Spread: SD - 9.5
My pick: If I miraculously make it to Monday night, this is probably the pick that's going to make me tear up my ticket and wipe my tears with the shreds, but for a prime time game I think the Broncos keep it close by just airing it out, especially near the end of the game. San Diego will win by like 8. GOOOOOO DENVERRRRRRRRR!

Do the complete opposite of these and...

How To Lose Pro Line - Week 10

So if you know me at all, you'd know that my Sundays consist of me sitting my ass in front of my TV watching football for 11 hours.

All I need for the day is pretty simple: heavily salted snack(s), underachieving fantasy football teams, an absence of pants and my "sure thing winning" point spread ticket.



I say "sure thing" because that's exactly how I feel about it every week I drop my hard earned (not really) money on a ticket.

You'd think after season after season of failure, and the fact that I've only broken even one year (thank you shitty American Thanksgiving scheduling), that I'd have learned my lesson to save money by NOT playing.

Nope.

Why?

Because of the same lies I tell myself that THIS week is the week I finally cash out. Examples:

"Well I got the early spreads and they're better so I got this."

"I have to win at least once in 21 weeks right?"

"As long as I stay away from [Insert team here] from now on, I'll definitely win."

"If [Insert team here] didn't fuck me last week I would have cashed out, this week I'll get it all back."

"Wow, only a sucker wouldn't take [Insert team here] to cover [Insert spread number here]."

"If I just buy it and hide it until Monday morning, maybe I'll finally win?" (Yes I tried that)

What pisses me off are 90% of the people who win copious amounts of money can't tell the difference between a football and wiffle ball.

Yes, the hot blonde at your work who picked her NCAA tourney bracket by "who has the cutest uniforms" will probably take home the office pot.

But anyways, because I appreciate you reading my useless and nonsensical blogs, I'm going to do you a favour and post my point spread ticket picks every week.

"How is this going to help me win money when you're always wrong?" is probably what you're asking.

Simple, pick the opposite of what I pick and watch the gravy train roll in to the station.

So without further ado...

NYJ @ CLE
Spread: NYJ - 3.0
My pick: J-E-T-S-PLEASE-FUCKING-COVER.

CIN @ IND
Spread: IND - 7.0
My pick: Gimme the Colts at home.

DET @ BUF
Spread: BUF - 3.0
My pick: This might be the only game this season where the Bills are favoured, and no Stafford for the Lions, the Bills have to win at least once right? (See same logic above)

KC @ DEN
Spread: KC - 1.5
My pick: I have no idea why, but give me the Broncos...

STL @ SF
Spread: SF - 6.5
My pick: I'd be a sucker not to take the Rams to cover such a huge spread! (Again, see same logic above)

NE @ PIT
Spread: PIT - 4.5
My pick: You think Belichick and Brady are pissed about getting dry anally raped by Cleveland? It'll be a close game, give me the Pats to at least cover...

And there you have it, don't do what I do and you'll be making it rain in no time.

The spreads will likely change by Sunday morning but whatever I try to catch the early ones (See same logic above).

You're welcome.

Lake Shore

A friend sent me this in an e-mail earlier today:



I'd heard about this a few months ago, but I had completely forgot about it. Now I know what you're thinking, "Oh no, Jersey Shore: Canadian Edition".

That's exactly what I said.

But for some reason that I still cannot explain after two seasons of the abomination in New Jersey and Miami, I'm still compelled to watch this show...

Maybe it's fun laughing at stupid, arrogant people. The fact that I'm not like them is comforting and entertaining.

Or maybe it's simply because my life is just that boring.

I'll go with the second one.

But I digress.

It should be interesting to see how well this show does, my guess is that it'll be just as or more popular than the Jersey Shore, at least on this side of the border.

I also wonder what network is going to pick this show up. My guess is City TV.



You gonna watch it?

Yeezy (and I love brackets)

Almost a month since I've posted anything. Oh well.

So Kanye West's new album "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" drops on November 22nd. It will be in my hand before the sun goes down that day.

Just wondering what the cover is gonna look like...could be any of the following:











I personally like the 4th one the best, and I'm guessing the 5th one is the non-controversial Wal-Mart cover.

I got a chance to watch the movie for Runaway the other day. It's pretty long but I'd recommend you watch it.



A fellow Kanye fan and blogger (http://littlemind-bigthoughts.blogspot.com/) [It's 1000 times better than mine] asked me my thoughts about it.

My response was that I had no idea. There were times during it where I said "This is funny", "This is brilliant", "This is weird", "This is stupid".

I guess kudos to him for getting all those responses from me in under 35 minutes.

Say what you want about Mr. West, that's he's an arrogant prick, that he's the epitome of the word douchebag (he is), but you can't deny that he's a musical genius and you can't help but to nod your head to whatever idea falls out of his head.

808s and Heartbreak may have been disappointing to a lot of fans but I still think it was pretty underrated.

That being said, I'm glad he's turning off the auto-tune and slightly getting back to his earlier music.

I don't think this album will come close to College Dropout (one of the best hip hop albums of all time in my book) but since you pretty much hear the entire album in the Runaway film, you can tell that it's pretty dope.

So in celebration of his new album, I've stocked up my iPod with every single Kanye song I can find. Here's my favourite song by Kanye Omari:



"If my manager insults me again, I will be assaulting him. After I fuck the manager up, then I'm going to shorten the register up."

Don't tell me I'm not the only one who's sung that under my breath at work...