How To Lose Pro Line - Week 10

So if you know me at all, you'd know that my Sundays consist of me sitting my ass in front of my TV watching football for 11 hours.

All I need for the day is pretty simple: heavily salted snack(s), underachieving fantasy football teams, an absence of pants and my "sure thing winning" point spread ticket.



I say "sure thing" because that's exactly how I feel about it every week I drop my hard earned (not really) money on a ticket.

You'd think after season after season of failure, and the fact that I've only broken even one year (thank you shitty American Thanksgiving scheduling), that I'd have learned my lesson to save money by NOT playing.

Nope.

Why?

Because of the same lies I tell myself that THIS week is the week I finally cash out. Examples:

"Well I got the early spreads and they're better so I got this."

"I have to win at least once in 21 weeks right?"

"As long as I stay away from [Insert team here] from now on, I'll definitely win."

"If [Insert team here] didn't fuck me last week I would have cashed out, this week I'll get it all back."

"Wow, only a sucker wouldn't take [Insert team here] to cover [Insert spread number here]."

"If I just buy it and hide it until Monday morning, maybe I'll finally win?" (Yes I tried that)

What pisses me off are 90% of the people who win copious amounts of money can't tell the difference between a football and wiffle ball.

Yes, the hot blonde at your work who picked her NCAA tourney bracket by "who has the cutest uniforms" will probably take home the office pot.

But anyways, because I appreciate you reading my useless and nonsensical blogs, I'm going to do you a favour and post my point spread ticket picks every week.

"How is this going to help me win money when you're always wrong?" is probably what you're asking.

Simple, pick the opposite of what I pick and watch the gravy train roll in to the station.

So without further ado...

NYJ @ CLE
Spread: NYJ - 3.0
My pick: J-E-T-S-PLEASE-FUCKING-COVER.

CIN @ IND
Spread: IND - 7.0
My pick: Gimme the Colts at home.

DET @ BUF
Spread: BUF - 3.0
My pick: This might be the only game this season where the Bills are favoured, and no Stafford for the Lions, the Bills have to win at least once right? (See same logic above)

KC @ DEN
Spread: KC - 1.5
My pick: I have no idea why, but give me the Broncos...

STL @ SF
Spread: SF - 6.5
My pick: I'd be a sucker not to take the Rams to cover such a huge spread! (Again, see same logic above)

NE @ PIT
Spread: PIT - 4.5
My pick: You think Belichick and Brady are pissed about getting dry anally raped by Cleveland? It'll be a close game, give me the Pats to at least cover...

And there you have it, don't do what I do and you'll be making it rain in no time.

The spreads will likely change by Sunday morning but whatever I try to catch the early ones (See same logic above).

You're welcome.